The 7 Important Things I Learned in My First Year of Comedy...

...That Won't Help You Because You Either Already Know or You Will Have to Learn The Hard Way

1) Starting Out At Comedy is Like Throwing Darts Blind...

...If the aim of the game was to throw as many darts as possible and throw away all the darts that missed the mark. Secondly, like any unskilled billiards player, you will have no idea why some throws worked and others flailed, smacked horizontally against the board, and plummeted to the ground like a loose brick.

One night, you'll find a great throw that just seems to work for you. Contrary to what you expect, it will feel awkward and counter-intuitive and you won't care if it always hits a bullseye. You'll want to try other throws because they feel more comfortable and look cooler and you're trying to impress that girl in the corner, but thats not the name of the game.

You're not supposed to be comfortable. Not yet. Keep using that throw until its muscle memory and you'll gain the ultimate knowledge. What works for you? What do people think is funny about you?

2) Comedian's Will Not Give You Advice Because You're Not Ready for It, and When They Do You're Not Going to Like It, Because You're Not Ready for It.

The first time I asked a comedian for advice, the only thing he said to me was "Keep coming back." I thought he was being dismissive, but in reality he was telling me the only thing that was worth telling. About five months later, another comedian gave me the business for telling long stories. He told me I shouldn't tell stories, none of the comedians he knows tells stories, and I should just stop it.

I did not take to this very well. "Who the hell does this guy think he is?" I thought.

It didn't help that I didn't respect that guy's style of comedy either. I stewed on it for days before I decided that I should heed his advice, if for no other reason then that it couldn't hurt, and what I was doing wasn't working anyway.

I wanted to write tight sets.

3) Writing a Tight Set Is About Connecting Ideas You Didn't Think Were Related

When I first got started I would frequently hear the phrase "Tight Five", meaning, a five minute set of short good jokes with as little filler as possible. I thought this meant telling a furious succession of one-liners with minimal set-up. At  the time, I was still telling 2 minute stories.

I spent a lot of time trying to shorten jokes but it didn't seem to ameliorate their mediocrity. I considered just throwing these jokes away until a certain comedian told me not to tell stories anymore. After being mad for a couple days, I decided to cut and paste only the parts of my stories that people laughed at and made one long list of half-assed phrases and ideas. 

Still no progress.

Then I just kept listing the jokes in categories, then randomly, looking for any pattern I could find. I never found a pattern but I did find weird symbolic connections between ideas as far ranging as transvestites and margarine. This would become my signature joke.

The lesson.  Don't get married to the context in which you created jokes. You're creative output is a filtered reflection of your subconscious and thus there are connections there that will take you time to discern. Eventually you will find that 'tight sets' aren't about wiiddled down set-ups and clever segues, but about you as an artist understanding the deep connections between your disparate thoughts and letting the audience fill in the seamless transitions by following you on your mental journey.

4) Say What You Don't Think the Audience Wants to Hear

Young comics think its really ballsy to talk about nasty stuff and say fucked up shit but its quite the opposite. If anything, all that filth is more of an expression of insecurity than any form of courage.

Picture the arrogance. "I'm going to regale this attentive audience with stories of piss and cum and they're gonna respect me for suffering them with my juvenile fantasies." If anything, the audience is courageous for not departing forthwith.

I had a short spurt where I told a bunch of shit and blood stories that I thought made me a ballsy comic. And sometimes those jokes worked. But more often than not, the audience was wondering what they had ever done to deserve this. 

So you're probably thinking, isn't that telling the audience what they don't want to hear? No, thats telling the audience what you're willing to tell them. You want to tell the audience what you don't think they will want to hear, because deep down, you're afraid to tell them.

This is you're wheelhouse. This is what you have to offer as an artist that other comedians do not. What are you always thinking about, that you never hear anyone else say, but is always eating at you on the inside?

Here's the truth. You might not think so, but everyone thinks about all the same stuff subconsciously. It's you're job as an artist to sell the ideas that have personal meaning for you. Use your sense of humor.

When I started doing comedy, I did not want to be the comedian that talked about race. Even I though I thought about it all the time, I had always tried to avoid talking about it. When I finally started telling jokes about race, it hit the mark. 

But it felt awkward and silly and I was trying to impress this imaginary critic who was standing in the corner and was really into the lazy comedy that my ego would love to have settled into. 

5) You Need to Have an Opinion. You Have to Be Serious About it. But It's Not What You Say That Matters.

Jerry Seinfeld said that "What makes a comedian funny, is how serious they are?" 

I hate Jerry Seinfeld's jokes. He talks about really banal, almost meaningless stuff. However, I respect him immensely as an artist because he is very serious about that silly stuff he talks about. 

Par Examplar. As a child, all I wanted to do was be taken seriously but people just laughed at me. I began to believe that I was just an easily dismissed fool. But it turns out I was just funny. 

People did not agree with me.  They didn't always think what I said was relevant or made any sense. But people couldn't help but laugh. I, however, was steaming mad. Which only made it funnier.

The problem was, I didn't know why it was funny. I could not replicate it. I thought perhaps, that I was simply saying funny things. That strategy didn't work very often. But little by little, I found myself trying to be funny on purpose, not by saying funny things, but by how I said them.  I used a myriad of techniques, such as word choice, cadence, timing, implausible metaphors and similes.

Only one thing was a constant. I was saying something that was important to me and I was using humor to communicate that idea to people. I was dead serious. But for the people I was speaking to, it wasn't what I was saying, but how I was saying it.

When I first started comedy, I thought I had to say outrageous things and talk about outlandish topics to make people laugh.  This strategy fell on its face countless times. But people still liked me, listened to me, encouraged me to keep trying after even the worst sets. Even now its still hard for me to come to terms with the fact that people like me. They like the way I put across ideas. They're more in love with the way I think rather then what I think about. That's the difference between a comedian and a fool.

6) Respecting the Art Means Being a Professional

One day, you're going to meet the mythical hipster comic who's doing it for the sake of the art. He does alt-comedy and tells anti-jokes. He's not commercial because he respects the art too much.

I have never met this guy. I imagine he is either afraid to talk to me or is too chicken shit to try comedy to begin with. Comedy is not for the superficially principled or the gluten resistant. It is the art of the desperate starving artist who eats free bar food and $1 Pizza. Pretty much every truly bad comedian I have ever seen, I have only seen once.

In order to truly respect the art of comedy, you must also respect the business of comedy. That means being a professional. Six months ago, I was finally given the opportunity to grace the stage of the first half of the hottest open mic in the city.

I promptly shat all over the room. Why? Because even though I was honored to finally get the opportunity, I was also bitter. I felt entitled to be on that stage. I felt like I was entitled to be on there months ago. And I felt like I was entitled to disrespect the room and all the people who supported me and encouraged me and worked so hard to create this comedy scene that I've been lucky to take advantage of.

I felt like shit right after I walked off the stage. Nobody said anything to me and maybe its arrogant of me to assume that what I had to say mattered to anybody but I was back in the third half the next week.

7) The Business of Comedy is Beer and Butts

Put their butts in the seats and put a beer in their hands, thus is the business of comedy. Comedy Clubs and most venues make their money off of marked up alcohol. This is what you have to offer a venue in order to have any value for them.

If you were a painfully unfunny hack comedian, you could still get booked at comedy venues, if you can fill up the seats and mark up the bar receipts. If you were that good at drawing a crowd, you could rent the venue out yourself and take the gate. 

One time, someone set-up a meeting between me and a venue owner in Delaware. And by set-up, I mean someone pointed out the guy to me and told him I was a comedian. I might as well had stayed home and punched myself in the dick.

He gave me the business. And also, some business advice. He told me two important things.

1) I'm tired of comedians who only talk about race and sex. I need someone who can tell a story.

2) If you want to perform at my venue, I need a guaranteed $1200 at the bar.

This guy was looking for talented comedians. But more importantly, he was looking for an audience. At this point in my career, I am also looking for an audience. He's looking for a comedian that already has an audience. That was the end of our conversation. 

So now you're saying,"Brandon, where does being funny come into it?"  Well, it does and it doesn't. Being funny is important but pretty much any comedian is funny. Practically, any experienced comedian can kill in a room full of people waiting for you to make them laugh. But how do you get those people into that room.

So then you might say, "What's the point of getting funny then?" Very simply, because you want to be funny. And because when you start out as a young comedian the only people who will book you are other comedians, and they don't give two shits about bar receipts. Comedians will book you because they #1 they like working with you, and #2 they think you're funny.  Enjoy that shit while it last.

I am.

Brandon Jackson is a young comedian from Delaware who performs in Philadelphia.  He'll be featuring at Comedy-Gasm at the Irish Pol on February 21st and hosting his Blue Hen Comedy Mic and Black Privilege Comedy Show at the University of Delaware on February 20th. 

Phillycomedyde@gmail.com
@BlueHenComedy